You Ask, I Answer - Part Six - About Adoption

A little Ethiopian doll I made once upon a time.

Now that Cooper has been born, how long before the province will allow you to be able to proceed with your adoption again?

Maaaaaan, the province is all tricky with their adoption rules. Basically, the Ministry of Ontario follows an 18 month rule where there must be 18 months between the adopted child's age and the age of any biological children already in the home. They also follow this 18 month rule for adoption placements. For example, you wouldn't be able to accept an International adoption referral two months after you accepted a local adoption referral even if the children were years apart in age.

While the Ministry usually follows the 18 month rule, I've heard that they will sometimes make exceptions (i.e., allowing siblings to be closer in age) if the adoption social worker makes a case for the family that they have the capability and support systems in place to raise an adopted child and a biological child that are closer in age. Unfortunately the Ministry doesn't have any specific information about the 18 month rule on their website.

We just met with our local adoption social worker on Saturday to update our file on the major changes that we've had lately, mainly the Coopster's arrival and our purchase of The Fixer Upper. We are still able to continue with our adoption, although technically our file will be on hold until the 18 month waiting period is up. Once the required age gap has been met, our file will be opened again and we will be ready to accept a referral again.

Having a biological child at this point in the process shouldn't affect our wait time though. We think we're about #65 on the list and referrals have slowed to only about 2-3 per month at our adoption agency. Booooooo.

Why did you choose to adopt from Ethiopia?

Hmmmm, this may be a tricky one to answer without rambling on for days and days. I'll try to give the short version!

I've always known that I wanted to adopt someday. When I met Alex in University I remember telling him that I wanted to have lots of kiddos - both biological and adopted. Can you believe that he didn't run away screaming back then?!? Hahaha. It turns out that I was very lucky to have met someone who was so open to the idea.

Fast forward a few years later. It may sound silly but I came across an article about the orphan crisis that was happening in Ethiopia. This led me to do some reading. And more reading. And more reading. Then I found out that Ethiopia had a fairly reliable International adoption program. Then I started researching Ethiopian adoption like it was my job. At one point I discovered adoption blogs by other Canadian families that were in the process and some that had even completed the adoption process from Ethiopia. I was sold. I was in.

After a lot of soul-searching and discussion as a little family of three (back then it was only Alex, Roary, and I) we decided that we would start our family with adoption. Well, that was the plan anyway.

Long story short, our international adoption agency declared bankruptcy and what was supposed to be a year and a half wait turned out to this long, drawn-out, emotionally draining, four-year and counting process.

We're sticking it out for the long haul though. Yuppers.

I'm curious about your adoption plans, too. We're going to Uganda on Friday to volunteer at an orphanage, so it's on my mind!!

So, our current adoption plan is to adopt a child (either gender, age 0 to 18 months) from Ethiopia!

When will you update your other blog or will you merge both?

When I was doing my ten thousand hours of research on International adoption, I came across a blog whose family chronicled their entire Ethiopian adoption from the planning stages right through to bringing their three children home. I remember reading every.single.word. of the entire blog. After that I started following several other adoption blogs and finally decided to start my own. That's how I first because involved in this whole blogging world!

I updated the adoption blog quite frequently for awhile. Then I sort of lost my motivation because the process was taking so long. I didn't want to be Debbie-Downer blogger so I just stopped blogging about the adoption altogether. Since this blog has strayed quite a bit from strictly home decor and renos, I'll just share my updates on here from now on. If that's okay with you. ;)

P.S. If you have any more adoption-related questions feel free to ask them in the comments or in an email. But please don't ask how long it took me to sew all the hair onto that doll. Hours, dude. Hours.

P.S.S. Anyone else out there adopting or thinking about adoption?

P.S.S.S. If you are interesting in reading more about Ethiopia / Ethiopian adoption I highly recommend the book There is No Me Without You by Melissa Fay Greene. It was a life-changer.